Saturday 17 October 2015

**** FEMINISM-FEMINIST-INDEPENDENT WOMAN****






         We live in an age and time where everybody by virtue of their ideals, values and goals in life, want to be associated with groups that have similar resonance. This is normal of all human beings, because we are naturally social beings. Hence the saying " No man is an island"...
And this is true of sociology. which has the basic premise that to understand a person better, the group the person belongs to, or the social gathering the person interacts most with should first be well understood.
         The first time I heard of the word FEMINISM, the writer of the article that conveyed that information pictured the word as being associated with lesbians,spinsters, lonely women, etc., but this is what the Oxford dictionary says...
The Oxford English Dictionary defines ‘a feminist’ simply as ‘An advocate or supporter of the rights and equality of women’. Yet the term ‘feminist’ has always been contentious. This is partly because it connotes militancy and an ‘anti-men’ stance, but also because it has come to be associated with elite groups of women.
Google dictionary also defines feminism as...
a range of movements and ideologies that share a common goal: to define, establish, and achieve equal political, economic, cultural, personal, and social rights for women. This includes seeking to establish equal opportunities for women in education and employment.

       Clearly, this movement rose at some point in history when women realised they could offer more to society than their normal confinement in the kitchen!
But then, just like many social movements, there were lesbians and certain alpha females who wanted the ideals of the group for their personal objectives. So with time, they distorted the main aim of the movement which was to seek equal rights for women.
Some years back, men were considered most intelligent, strongest and most gifted, while the women were only useful in bed, in the kitchen and during child bearing!
So, as you can see, this movement has helped many women rise to the educational ladder, and also helped them prove their worth in the the sciences and arts. Indeed, women have proven they are as good at many things as men.
       To the men who think a gifted and an ambitious woman is a threat to their manhood, they must man up and realise that such a woman lives in her own womanhood, and is a master of her talents. She appreciates the fact that she's been born a woman and never sees herself as a weakling as compared to men. She aims at helping society with her talents. She never puts herself in a constant rat-race with males.
       There are several disadvantages that came about as a result of this movement, but why focus on them? Let us look at the brighter side of things.
Here is an interesting piece from wikihow.com, on how to be a feminist........
How to Be a Feminist
        There is no single way to be a feminist; being a feminist can take on very different forms. Essentially, a feminist is someone who believes in equality between the genders. Most people would say that they favor equality and gender rights. They believe that men and women should have equal opportunities and the ability to do whatever they want with their lives.

1. Love yourself. It may sound cheesy, but if you are a woman, loving yourself and practicing self-care empowers you. When you love yourself, you are essentially saying “my humanity matters.”
With this is loving your body, even (especially!) if it does not fit the media’s stereotype of perfection. Feminists often fight the misconception that an attractive female has one particular set of traits.
This does not mean that you can’t spend time making yourself look pretty. You can wear makeup or high heels and be a feminist, but you don’t have to!

2. Share equal responsibilities in your relationship. It can be common for members of heterosexual relationships and marriages to slip into traditional gender roles. If you want to stay home with your children while your husband works, that’s fine! You can still be a feminist! However, you and your partner should make mindful decisions about household responsibilities.
If you do most of the cooking, perhaps your partner should clean up the kitchen after dinner. If your partner does laundry on the weekends, you can contribute in other ways, like by vacuuming. As long as you’re making decisions about responsibilities based on choice and personal preference, and not on gender stereotypes, you’ll be incorporating feminism into your lifestyle.
3. Raise your children to believe in gender equality. There are many ways to raise children to be feminists. A good start is encouraging them to embrace their individual interests and passions, regardless of their gender. You can also teach them to question gender assumptions (such as why girls’ items are invariably pink and purple, but boys’ items are never pink). Help them make life goals that do not hinge upon their genders.
It is also important to emphasize both the mother’s and the father’s role as a parent. This will minimize the assumption that mothers parent while fathers work.

4. Maintain positive equality in the workplace. In an ideal work, workplaces would all be blind to gender, ethnicity, sexual orientation, and other life choices. In reality, this is not always the case. Maintain professionalism in the work place and always perform your best; if you feel that you are being discriminated against, (ie: paid less for similar work or passed over for a promotion) due to your gender. Do not be afraid to speak out about the inequity.
If you have a managerial position, ensure fairness and equity in hiring, pay, and promotion policies.

5. Empower women. There is an unfortunate modern tendency for women to judge and belittle the choices of other women, (particularly on social media). To be a feminist, support and empower other women instead of judging them. Realize that women who make decisions that differ from your own have likely put as much thought into those decisions as you have.



Here is a piece from Lydia Forson, a famous Ghanaian actress (Sourced from Ghanaweb.com).....

INDEPENDENT WOMEN - The Misconception
     Being an independent woman automatically to most means, single, never been married, no children and may probably never want to be with a man.
     I’ve always maintained that I’m not a feminist, because like “independent women” it’s always misconceived that feminist again are single, unmarried, and hate men. Any woman that takes a stand and doesn’t conform to societies rules of life is automatically a bitter single woman. And that’s why I refuse to allow people put me in that bubble. But perhaps I have fed into this stereotype myself and it is the reason why I dislike the word so much. The fear that immediately I label myself a feminist I automatically join the pool of women who are constantly against anything traditional.
     So sadly in as much as I’ve fought against this misconception, by shying away from it I’ve actually without realizing it started to believe it and is probably why I dissociate myself from it.
     However, if I were to give myself a label it would probably be an ‘EQUALIST’ meaning I’m in the fight for all humans to be treated with respect and given equal rights. Words like feminist, chauvinist and all other labels etc wouldn’t exist if people were treated equally.
     Now about ‘independent women’; being an independent woman to me doesn’t mean I don’t want a man, but that a man isn’t the center of my existence, a man doesn’t define who I am. It means I recognize that I have a destiny and goals that God has set for me, and these goals may or may not include a man. It doesn’t mean I don’t believe in marriage or companionship, but that I respect that the institution is sacred and should be treated as such. And I know men will come at you with” you’re independent so it means you don’t want a man to take care of you”.
     Far from it, I’m actually quite traditional and recognize a man’s role in a relationship. I expect my man to step up to the plate and be the man in our relationship. Being independent just means that I can live without all of that, but choose not to, it means I’m more than who I date or marry, but that they’re just a part of my story.
     Sadly our society and the world continue to beat down any woman who even attempts to have an ambition outside of marriage or relationships.
      A man isn’t and shouldn’t be your destiny, he should be your partner and together you can help each other achieve your goals and build an empire. What’s the point in educating women if it’s only to tell them that they’re not supposed to want anything more out of life, or they shouldn’t dare to dream?
     Why empower women only to tell them to not be more than the men they’re with, or constantly feel like the more they achieve the harder it will be for them to find a man.
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie said it best, she said:
“We teach girls to shrink themselves, to make themselves smaller. We say to girls, you can have ambition, but not too much. You should aim to be successful, but not too successful. Otherwise, you would threaten the man. Because I am female, I am expected to aspire to marriage. I am expected to make my life choices always keeping in mind that marriage is the most important. Now marriage can be a source of joy and love and mutual support but why do we teach girls to aspire to marriage and we don’t teach boys the same? We raise girls to see each other as competitors not for jobs or accomplishments, which I think can be a good thing, but for the attention of men. We teach girls that they cannot be sexual beings in the way that boys are.”
    A real man won’t be threatened by his woman’s achievements; neither will he think her less of a woman for wanting to be more than a wife and a mother. A real man will recognize the gem in the woman he’s with and realize that instead of trying to beat her down he should lift her up.
    Perhaps when they said “behind a successful man is a woman” they didn’t mean women were hiding behind the men, but that they were the driving force behind their men’s success.
    So don't let the world change you into something you’re not, or force you to change your dreams in the fear that having dreams automatically means living a lonely life.
    Marriage is great, but being happy in marriage is the greatest.
So focus on being happy and the rest will fall into place. Don’t feed into the assumption that wanting more out of life means you won’t get a man.

No comments:

Post a Comment